I have been doing a lot of reflection for the last seven months. I started by asking myself what is life. What do I want to do in the future? Do I want to keep watching 3 hours of television daily? Or do I want to do something meaningful that would add value to my life? I quote a phrase from Jim Rohn: “How you spend your time tell a lot about who you really are?”
I am been living one day at a time; refusing to think about the future. Why? I am fearful and lack confident in myself. I am afraid to move out of my comfort zone. I lack the motivation to seek for full-time employment as I have left the workforce for too long.
I devoted most of my life in raising children and doing household chores. Till this day, I am still attending to my children’s daily need although they are old enough to take care of themselves. It has become a habit after doing it for decades.
I have not lived my life. I allow my responsibility to my family to overwhelm my personal life goal. When my late husband was still around, I didn’t have personal space nor the luxury of ‘me’ time. As I reminisced, I was like a robot, programmed to do house chores and took care of children daily. There was no time to think about my own ambition. My primary goal then was to be the best mother and wife that I can be. Many homemakers can resonate with me.
During this period of reflection, I came to realise what life is meant to me now.
To me, life is living in the moment. I do not have to worry too much because nothing will change by getting worry. Instead take small action steps and move on. Live with a smile even when the journey is rough. Nothing is going to change if I were to get angry and disappointed with undesirable outcome. There is always ups and down through life. The important thing is to make the most out of life. I don’t want to just get by with life; I want to get out of life. I want to think of ways to make l my life a little better everyday.
You may have mountain of debts, but it doesn’t mean that you have to live like you have been beaten up. Life is nothing but the function of the many choices you make daily. You may not have control over the environment and situation that you are in; but you have the power to make choices to react the way you want. You can choose to be thankful with the little money in your bank account. Alternatively, you can choose to complain about how bad your life is. You can choose to blame your parents; the government, the school system, your employers and the trade union. So what? Does it going to help you with your current situation? Does it going to change how you feel about yourself? Instead of blaming everybody else for your miserable life; have you ever reflect and think about the poor choices you made that turned you into the person you see in the mirror today?
Jim Rohn once said: “Life can be simple, but it is not easy.” Your life is depending on how you choose to react when a situation arises. It is all about the many choices that you and I make daily. It is not as simple as deciding what to wear for work or what to eat for lunch.
If you have enormous amount of credit card debts to clear, first you need to start working on your mind. That is you must decide to reduce debts. Next, take action and do it. How? Start by cutting up all your credit cards and pay everything by cash. Keep a debit card if you really need for online purchase for your grocery. This is especially necessary if you are the only caregiver to a needy family member at home. At least you pay for what you can afford without having to incur further credit card debts. Next, sell your car if you are still paying for the lease. Free up the money for your debts repayment. Find ways to increase you income. If necessary, downsize and move to a smaller house or apartment. Use proceeds from the sale of house to reduce your debts. Think of ways to raise fund to reduce your debts as soon as possible. The longer you delay, the debts is going to snowball beyond control eventually.
I have been asking myself many tough questions such as: Should I continue to work for others or work for myself? If I were to work for myself, how am I going to handle my financial needs? Should I retire at age 60 or 65? Should I continue to stay in my current house or move to a smaller house when I retire? Should I rent or buy a smaller house when my children move out? Do I have sufficient retirement fund to last till the end of my life? Whether you like it or not, we all have to ask ourselves difficult questions at a certain point in life. For some, there are difficult choices to make when they encounter stressful situation like divorce, death of a spouse, relocation to a different state. Others may have tough choices to make especially pertaining to caring for a handicapped sibling or child; a sick parent or child or spouse. Life is never easy. There is no one answer fit all. All of us have to consider and make the best possible decision for ourselves. Nobody can do it for us.
I realized that life is what you make. If you want a comfortable and peaceful life, you need to plan and work towards it. You can achieve what you set your heart to do, but first and foremost, you must believe in yourselves. If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t persevere. It is unlikely that you can taste success. Your mind will be filled with many reasons why you would fail. Anthony Robin once said:” What you focus on will expand.” Do not focus on failure, instead focus on the result you want to see.
First of all, I believe I need to start by changing my mind set. I lack self-confident and fearful of failure. Who doesn’t? It is daunting for me to think of getting out of my comfort zone, but I must put on the armour of faith and start by listening to motivational speeches. The bible said in Roman 10:17 “So then faith comes by hearing and hearing ……….” It is important that we guard our ears and be careful with what we hear. I have also learnt to stop listening to news at the start of my day. Now I start my day by listening to sermon and motivational speeches.
In addition, I also need to be careful with what I say. The bible said in Proverbs 18:21”Death and life are in the power of the tongue,……..” In order not to sabotage my plans, I need to speak positively day in day out. Literally, I have to learn to speak success into my life. It sound easy, but it is daunting for me. I am not sure whether I can succeed, but I really want to give myself a chance to do something meaningful. I am no longer young, and time is not on my side. I need to expedite and work fast before I regret for not taking action to do what I have decided to do for the rest of my life. I hope you too take some time to reflect on your own life and make plans for your future or lest you regret. Remember that when you choose to do nothing for a better future is also a choice you make. Someone once said: “If you don’t choose to do something for your life, life will choose for you.”